Hey everyone! If you’re gonna be in front of a computer with an internet connection on Thursday, January 22nd, then tune into beterrific.com/live at 4P and you’ll be able to watch me on your computers! BeTerrific.com produces positive, original content and programming. They cover a variety of topics, including, sports, entertainment, technology, as well as human interest (like my story!). My friend (Michael) and my brother (Peter) are 2 of the creators behind this terrific (!) site. Michael will be interviewing me on Thursday. Grab a set of headphones and tune into beterrific.com/live on Thursday @ 4P if you can! Hopefully, I don’t look like a fool! Yikes.
Thanks for all the love in response to my last post. XOXO. I just want to let everyone know that I’m OK. I’m sorry if it sounded like I was whining or a crying for help. Yes, I was talking about how some days it feels very lonely when I’m at home with no actual interaction with the outside world and how it would be nice to have some company but I was also talking about another kind of loneliness. I realized I didn’t go into it…probably b/c it was getting to be a pretty lengthy post. The loneliness of not being able to share this burden adds onto the actual physical loneliness. I’m the only one that bears this burden and no matter how often I have company, how many dinners I go out to with friends and family, or how often I’m distracted…it’s still just me. With that being said, I just want to thank everyone, again, for the love.
I went to the movies last week (not my first time). It was one of those theaters where you choose/reserve your seats when you purchase the tickets. All the handicapped seats were already reserved so we chose 3 seats from the aisle that were 3 rows down from the handicapped seats. There’s usually a railing and I had Ben and my friend, Wade, with me..so I wasn’t worried about making it to the seats and I figured that if I was struggling people would see me and offer up the handicapped seats to us (assuming the people sitting in them weren’t handicapped). Well, I did struggle (it was a very steep decline) and nobody that was in the handicapped seats offered up their seats to us. Maybe they didn’t see me struggling (I wasn’t loud, but I definitely wasn’t whispering about the hard time I was having either.), but it didn’t seem like they were all “in need” of those seats. At one point, I was taking up the entire aisle because I had to reach over from the left to the right hand rail. The hand rail on the left ended and started up again on the right side. Two gentlemen, walked up behind me and said, “Excuse us..”, with a slight attitude. Granted, I knew I was taking up the entire aisle and causing a back-up due to the amount of time it was taking me to walk down 2 rows, but chill out…there was still 10 minutes until the movie would start. This is exactly why I make it a point to roll up my long pants when we go out. When people think I’m just on crutches, they don’t give me the same “leeway” as they do when they find out I’m on crutches b/c I have a pair of prosthesis on. Once they said excuse us, I replied with a sorry…and that’s when they saw my prosthesis and cut me off and said, “Oh! We’re so sorry! Take your time!” I said it’s fine and let them go first. They went ahead and then asked if I needed any help. I said no. They asked if I was sure. Yep, all good. It’s a funny thing…I want people to see that I have prosthesis on so they give me more space and are more patient towards my situation, but at the same time, I don’t want them to treat me like I’m incapable of doing something. Once I’m at the point where I no longer need the crutches and am 100% independent (I hope), I may no longer feel the need to have my prosthesis on display, but for now, I definitely do. This situation wasn’t exactly an example of that, but it just a little irritating when being handicapped with just crutches isn’t enough of a “disability” for people to be a little more patient. I’m not bashing those people, because I’m sure prior to the accident I would’ve been a little impatient back then too (We are NYers, after all.), but now that my eyes are open to different things, I’m just more aware. I think I freaked some people out after the movie ended too. When we sat down for the movie, most of our row was already filled up so only a few people had to walk past us. However, when the movie ended, half the row would need to walk past us in order to exit the row. Well, since I had a difficult time walking down the steep decline, I knew I was going to be slow going walking up the steep incline. So, since I knew I wasn’t going to be able to walk up the aisle with everyone else exiting and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to exit the row and then wait in the aisle for it to clear, I took off my left prosthesis and held onto it so people could exit the row without me having to get up. My right leg is a prosthetic from my thigh down so I can bend the prosthetic back so it’s not blocking the row, but my left leg is a prosthetic that’s below the knee and b/c my knee can’t bend more than 50 degrees, I can’t bend it back all the way, leaving it stretched out in the row. Most people stared as they walked out of the row. Fine, as expected. They stared and then went on their way. This one lady…stared as she walked out of the row and then when she got to the aisle, stopped and just stood there staring. Uh…ok. She stopped to put on her gloves and stare. After about a minute, Ben said something like, watch your back, to Wade, which got her attention and then she kept walking. I get it…it’s not something you see. I’d stare too. You probably have never seen it, expect for in the movies. But, either approach me and ask me something if you’re curious, or do a normal 5 second long stare, like everyone else, and then move it along!
I have to schedule my surgery this week. It’s so odd to be scheduling my own surgery. I never had any sort of surgery prior to the accident…closest would be my root canal..and when I was in the hospital, the doctors would just tell me when I would be going into the OR and then the nurses would just run all the necessary pre-op tests. But, to have to call up the doctor’s surgical coordinator and schedule my surgery..that’s just weird. Not to mention, all the questions I’m going to have about showing up to the hospital that day and other things a “normal” person wouldn’t ask. In the hospital…I was in bed 24/7, always in a hospital gown, IV already in…good to go for surgery all the time! Now….what do I wear coming into the hospital? Probably doesn’t matter since I’ll have to change into a hospital gown when I get there. I never had any underwear on under my hospital gown…do I keep it on or take it off upon changing into the gown? What’s wrong with me?!? Who thinks about these things when they’re about to have their leg cut open?!? Don’t worry…I’m thinking about all the things related to the actual operation as well. Unless you don’t know me or are new to reading this blog…you’d know that!
Sometimes there’s a big gap in between posts because I either, forget, or don’t feel I have anything “good enough” to post. So, if there’s anything any of you would like me to talk about, anything you’re curious about and would like to ask me, go for it! I’d be happy to write about it and don’t worry, if I’m not comfortable posting about it, I’ll let you know. But..doesn’t hurt to ask. IF you have something you want to ask me or want me to talk about on Thursday’s interview, let me know before Thursday and I will try and talk about it on the beterrific.com/live.
Plugging the site/show again….beterrific.com/live on Thursday, January 22nd @ 4P.