Today is my 8th day in rehab. While here, I’ve done several things I haven’t done in over 2 months. Some of these things were fulfilling, but simultaneously slightly depressing (1 & 2).
1. I used the toilet (with a commode that also requires additional assistance, but progress I guess..).
2. I showered (with plastic bags over both my legs and with assistance)..and not with a basin and some cloths but with a shower head and in an actual bathroom.
As nice as it is to be able to use the toilet instead of the bedpan and as wonderful as it is to have a “half-shower” (especially after not having a real one in over 2 months), both are still depressing on some level. Not having to pee and poop in my bed is great, but having to use the commode still requires assistance from another person which means I still need to rely on someone else in order to take care of business. Waiting for the day when I can say, “I’m gonna run to the bathroom. I’ll be right back” again. Same goes for the shower. As great as it was, sitting in bed naked while the nurse and PCT (patient care technician) discuss how to wrap and tape each leg in plastic so that I can just take a shower isn’t the most glamorous event. I had a crying bout while I was being “prepped” for this shower. I let it out and then proceeded with my shower. I know it’s only temporary and as soon as my wounds heal I’ll be able to take a shower without all of this preparation but until then…
*Since I started typing up this post I found out that I can shower without covering up my wounds. The water and soap can run down my legs..just no scrubbing.
3. Leg lifts, crunches, arm raises, butt clenches, etc.
4. Driving and maneuvering myself in the wheelchair (only indoors for now..)
5. Wrapped my legs in ace bandages on my own.
It’s been hard work while here, but I love it. It means I’m closer to getting out of here and that much closer to getting prosthetics. I still have to wait around until my wounds are completely healed before that can happen…So, as much as I want to get those prosthetics, I don’t have the power to speed up the healing process.
I’m supposed to get discharged from rehab next week and then go home with a visiting nurse service and then continue as an out patient for a few months. Going home…just the thought fills me with excitement, anxiousness, fright, nervousness, and I’m sure a slew of other emotions. Going home with make this all more real. While in the hospital and rehab I have people taking care of me 24/7. Someone changes my sheets everyday. My clothes leave dirty and come back clean. I don’t have to cook or do the dishes. If I need to go to the bathroom, someone is always there to help. I don’t have to clean. Going home is going to make this all very real.