Saline, Xeraform, Curlex, Aquacel, Gauze, Ace Bandage. These things are now part of my everyday life as well as my vocabulary. Other words that I never thought would become part of my day-to-day vernacular; granulation, skin graft, donor site, oozing. Fun times.
How much dead/flaky skin am I going to shed and spread around the apartment today? How many times am I going to have to re-wrap my right stump today b/c the ace bandage falls off every 2 minutes?!? Should I transfer from the wheelchair onto the couch?…Well, depends on how much time I plan on spending on the couch…the energy I need to exert better be worth the time I’m going to plan on spending on that couch! What time am I going to bed?…whatever time it’s going to be, I need to start getting ready an hour before that time. All these questions and so many more are part of my everyday now. Things as simple as sitting down on the couch or using the bathroom requires some level of planning nowadays.
Hopefully I can heal up as fast and safely as possible (hopefully without the “help” of any further surgeries…) so that I’m able to be fitted for prosthetics. Then, I can finally stand up…then walk, and maybe/hopefully run one day….

Before I go into my post, I just wanted to share with everyone the follow up story that the Daily News ran on me…
http://m.nydailynews.com/new-york/woman-lost-legs-train-home-article-1.1711068
Check it out if you’re interested. It’s also on page 13 of the actual paper and almost a full page!..a full page of me looking like a hot mess! It was literally 10 minutes after getting home from rehab!
Also, Pat Kiernan of NY1 read my article during his “In The Papers” segment this morning. If you’re a Time Warner customer, you can check that out here:
http://www.ny1.com/content/shows/in_the_papers/204717/in-the-papers-3-5-14/
My article gets read at around the 2 minute mark. Thanks Pat! Now I can check that off my bucket list. =)
I’ll also be on 1010 Wins News and one other media outlet. Geez…who knew little ol’ me. At least on 1010 nobody needs to see me looking like a hot mess. Apologies for boring everyone with the same story over and over again.
So, it’s really nice to be home. Nice to sleep in my own bed with Ben next to me. Still trying to figure out my schedule. I don’t know what to do with myself. Ask my husband and he’ll confirm, I’ve never been one to sit around (literally now) and do nothing. I can’t sit still. So, now that the only thing I can do is sit or lay down while I’m home..what do I do? Taking meds and doing my at home physical therapy only takes up so much time. If I were to sit on the couch and just watch TV now it just wouldn’t feel right. Moving from room to room or even off the couch requires A LOT more time and energy. EVERYTHING requires a lot more effort now. I’ve only been home for just over 24 hours but hopefully like everyone says, it’ll get easier. Time will tell.
Plan now is to heal at home and continue my therapy as an out patient. Once the doc feels I’m healed up enough I’ll be fitted for prosthetics and then return as an in patient for prosthetic therapy. Doc estimate that’ll be around Spring/Summer.
Before I end this post I just wanted to take a sec and thank my family and friends who stayed with me, visited me, and took care of me during my hospital and rehab stay. I wouldn’t have made it through the last 2 1/2 months without all of you. A ginormous thanks to my AWESOME Mom who never left me alone and was with me everyday while I was at the hospital and rehab. Whether it was taking care of me like my personal nurse or just there to hang out with me (she doing her word search notebook and me on my laptop), she was and is still always there for me. You’re the best Mom.

My doc gave me a day pass yesterday (Saturday 3/1/14) to go home and do a test run in our apartment. I’m supposed to be discharged next week and during the family meeting on Friday the doc suggested that I be allowed to go home and see what problems arise so they can be discussed and addressed before I leave. Awesome. Great idea doc..thought of it myself but didn’t think it was doable so I didn’t suggest.
Ben picked me up from rehab at around 12:30P and signed out for the day. I transferred myself into the car and we were off. As soon as we pulled away from the curb, I knew this wasn’t going to be like any other car ride I’ve ever taken before. Aside from the obvious of having to transfer myself from a wheelchair into the car and then having Ben fold up and store the wheelchair, I “realized” that if the car stopped short I didn’t have feet to catch myself. I also have a residual limb that’s just dangling off of the edge of the seat (don’t have full range of motion yet on that leg so it doesn’t fully bend) so that every time we hit a pothole (which there are a many b/c of this horrific winter) my leg “bounced”. Realizing this, I made sure my seatbelt was fastened tightly and held onto the handlebar. Fun times.
Once we arrived at home, I had to transfer myself back into the wheelchair and then enter our apartment for the first time in two and a half months and for the first time in a wheelchair. Entered without any major issues and then it was time to “tour” the apartment (which isn’t that big).
-Wheel through living room – check. Doable.
-Enter kitchen – check. Doable. Microwave, fridge, toaster, front of stove – all accessible. Sink – not so much. Able to put things into sink but not able to use it.
-Hallway maneuverable but not wide enough to do a 180.
-Enter 2nd bedroom – check. No major issues. Ben rearranged the couch in there so I can move about with more ease.
-Bathroom – doable but not so easy so still minor trouble shooting to figure out. Great.
-Bedroom – able to navigate into but area rug will probably have to go as it was constantly snagging on wheelchair. Bed waaaay too soft for me to transfer on and off from.
Segue into the next adventure of this outing. Off to Sleepy’s (which is 4 blocks from our apartment) to check out some mattresses b/c I’ll need it in a few days…which goes like this..
1. Transfer back into car.
2. Ben folds and puts wheelchair into car.
3. Drive 4 blocks and park in handicapped spot in parking lot.
4. Ben takes and unfolds wheelchair from car.
5. Transfer back into wheelchair.
6. Wheel myself down the block to Sleepy’s and enter store.
7. Be exhausted and ready to just lay down on one of their beds and stay there.
At this point I’m physically and slightly mentally exhausted. I tell Ben that there’s no way I’m trying out more than 3 beds (which involves 2 transfers each time) so find 3 that you like and I will try those. Long story short, I tried out the 3 he picked out and then narrowed it down to 2 but then had to compare the last 2 one right after the other. However, by the time I would’ve transferred myself into the wheelchair, wheeled over to the next bed, and then transferred onto bed I would’ve forgotten the feel of the first bed. And I was REALLY exhausted at this point. So, while in the Sleepy’s store, my cousin had to pick me up off the bed and carry me onto the other bed. Great. All in all, bed situation resolved and now we head back home…which basically involves completing the above steps of 1-7 all over again but in reverse order.
We head home to eat lunch and hang out for a little bit before returning to the hospital.
All in all the outing was productive. Hopefully it makes the day I officially go home a little less daunting or maybe more, depending on how you look at it I guess. This test run made everything very real. My life is going to be REALLY hard for a while…which sucks balls. But, I have no choice and I’ll have to get through it and figure it out. Do I want to?..of course not. Will I?..of course I will. What would have been the point of 12 operations and almost 3 months away from home spent in the hospital and rehab to give up now. Right?…

Today is my 8th day in rehab. While here, I’ve done several things I haven’t done in over 2 months. Some of these things were fulfilling, but simultaneously slightly depressing (1 & 2).
1. I used the toilet (with a commode that also requires additional assistance, but progress I guess..).
2. I showered (with plastic bags over both my legs and with assistance)..and not with a basin and some cloths but with a shower head and in an actual bathroom.
As nice as it is to be able to use the toilet instead of the bedpan and as wonderful as it is to have a “half-shower” (especially after not having a real one in over 2 months), both are still depressing on some level. Not having to pee and poop in my bed is great, but having to use the commode still requires assistance from another person which means I still need to rely on someone else in order to take care of business. Waiting for the day when I can say, “I’m gonna run to the bathroom. I’ll be right back” again. Same goes for the shower. As great as it was, sitting in bed naked while the nurse and PCT (patient care technician) discuss how to wrap and tape each leg in plastic so that I can just take a shower isn’t the most glamorous event. I had a crying bout while I was being “prepped” for this shower. I let it out and then proceeded with my shower. I know it’s only temporary and as soon as my wounds heal I’ll be able to take a shower without all of this preparation but until then…
*Since I started typing up this post I found out that I can shower without covering up my wounds. The water and soap can run down my legs..just no scrubbing.
3. Leg lifts, crunches, arm raises, butt clenches, etc.
4. Driving and maneuvering myself in the wheelchair (only indoors for now..)
5. Wrapped my legs in ace bandages on my own.
It’s been hard work while here, but I love it. It means I’m closer to getting out of here and that much closer to getting prosthetics. I still have to wait around until my wounds are completely healed before that can happen…So, as much as I want to get those prosthetics, I don’t have the power to speed up the healing process.
I’m supposed to get discharged from rehab next week and then go home with a visiting nurse service and then continue as an out patient for a few months. Going home…just the thought fills me with excitement, anxiousness, fright, nervousness, and I’m sure a slew of other emotions. Going home with make this all more real. While in the hospital and rehab I have people taking care of me 24/7. Someone changes my sheets everyday. My clothes leave dirty and come back clean. I don’t have to cook or do the dishes. If I need to go to the bathroom, someone is always there to help. I don’t have to clean. Going home is going to make this all very real.

Today is my 3rd full day in rehab here at NYU Rusk. I was transferred over here (much later than expected) from Bellevue Hospital Tuesday night and started rehab the next morning. Since Wednesday, I’ve been doing leg lifts, butt clenches, arm lifts, dips, and transfers. I’m getting quite good at the transfers. I used a toilet for the first time in over 2 months…woohoo! I also rolled onto my stomach for the first time in over 2 months!
So, what’s it like here? Well, first off, the food is better. The staff is very friendly and everyone is here to help you get better. I see my rehab doctor a few times a day as he’s always around, which is very comforting. Having a schedule and therapy sessions to take up the morning and afternoon is 100x better than being stuck in bed. Just the overall feeling itself here is much better than at the hospital! Doc says he expects me out of here in about 2 weeks and then I get to go home! HOME!!!…Accompanied with out-patient therapy of course. Scary, exciting, and overwhelming. Then 3-4 months at home and then if healing goes as planned then I’ll get fitted for prosthetics. 2 weeks seems so close yet so far away…More on the timeframe of my healing and what’s next in the next post…
But while I’m here for the 2 weeks, visitors are welcome. Please come visit me! You can watch me in rehab sessions or come later to hang out with me during “down time”. I would def love the company! Text me or schedule via the site.
See you soon!

Well…I finally made it over to rehab at NYU’s Rusk. Moving onto the next stage of my long road to recovery. 50+ days in Bellevue hospital and now 4-6 weeks here at Rusk. I will get evaluated by physical and occupational therapists today and then I start up at the “gym”. Hope I don’t come off as a wimp! Not sure what it’s going to be like here, but I got real food for breakfast today..so that’s already a plus! Lots going on today so I’ll fill everyone in soon on what’s next!

Hi all,

So I should be getting discharged from the hospital and moving into rehab next week. Fingers crossed. We’ve experienced a few set backs in getting me there sooner than I like but my family and myself have done all we can. Please – to everyone and anyone that reads my boring posts – please pray, use magic, voodoo, or whatever floats your boat to make sure I leave the hospital and head to rehab ASAP. If I can get as many people to think it and believe it maybe I can get the universe to make it happen. And come on, you’d think after getting hit by the 7 train and losing both my legs, you’d think the universe would give me a break right?!?..so please spread the word and have everyone you know send those positive vibes my way. Cabin fever, anxiousness, boredom, and a plethora of other things are starting to set in and I need to move onto bigger and better things! Damn you Rusk for holding me back! I’m just trying to get my rehab on but instead I’m still stuck in this stinking hospital…
Hopefully next post will be good news!

Hi everyone,

Apologies in advance if mood of this post comes of a little somber. But not to worry, I’ll be sure to make up for it with an extra dose of sarcasm. I’ve been moved from the 10th floor (step down ICU) of the hospital to the 15th (recovery). Now, big picture this is good-I know this is good-but let’s not all get too excited. I’ve moved from the Four Seasons to Motel 6. This is not good. Good news is that my cousin, Tan has worked her usual magic and has been able to get me into a single room. I was transferred from a huge single, cool, lots of amenities, no visitation rights room into a sauna, cramped, roommate filled, restricted visiting hour room. So THANK YOU SO MUCH TAN. Being in the single is helps a lot. It is cooler, bigger, and less stressful. I’ll go into how shitty and so unbelievably stressful my transfer process was another time. But the other good news is that we applies for rehab yesterday and should expect an answer today as to whether I get in or not and my docs here say I’ll probably be discharcharged next week, but if rehab accepts me earlier then he’ll discharge me to them earlier! It’s going from one hospital to the next but at least it’s a change of scenery and I finally get to get out of here after 50 days in here!!! I need to get out of here! Sorry for the lag in updating, the last few days have been really rough but I’m trying to get my spirits back to where they were and get back on track for myself and my family. I’m sorry to those I disappointed those days. Thank you everyone for sticking by me and supporting me. Hopefully my next post will be with some good news! Til then…

Hi all,

The calendar should be up and running now. Please make sure you read the visiting restrictions/instructions post before booking a time to see me! You’ll get a follow up email that we’ve received your request but please wait for a confirmation email before you come!
Thanks for your patience everybody!

All,

I am scheduled to have surgery on Wednesday,2/5/14 so I will not be taking any visitors on that day. I also won’t be taking any visitors the day after on Thursday, 2/6/14 as I will still be recovering from the day before’s ordeal. Tuesday, 2/4/14 is iffy so please reach out to me in regards to visiting that day.

There is a 3-day general rule of thumb in regards to surgery and visiting…
-Day before is iffy so please text me to inquire about visiting.
-Day of surgery is always off limits.
-Day after surgery is generally off limits because I’m recovering but there may be exceptions…depending on surgery had.

Thanks for adhering to these “rules”!..hopefully you”ll still want to visit